Monthly Archives: September 2011

Sep27

Our First Date with the Babysit Exchange Club

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A few weeks ago we started a little routine that we’ve been thinking about since pregnancy!  Our own little Babysit Exchange Club.  (You can read about the idea on MamaModerne.com).  We have had many dates since Little Man was born.  But this was the first one that we took, just because!  No birthday, anniversary, special event, or anything.  Just the two of us ready for some time together.  Luckily, some of our friends were ready for the same thing and were willing to watch Nolan in exchange for us watching their son during their date the next week!

My Sweetheart and I went to Sunset Grill in Hillsboro Village.  On our first date (which was quite an adventure that I’ll have to write about another time), we had dessert there.  We’ve been curious about their other food, so he surprised me by taking us there.  We actually weren’t crazy about our entrees, but the experience was fun, and the creme brûlée was the best!

From there we took a stroll and walked around Belmont’s campus (our alma mater).  Solomon graduated in 2004 and I graduated in 2006.  Not long ago at all!  But every time we swing by, it looks completely different!  Each time we revisit, a new dorm popped up where there used to be a parking lot!  But the landscaping is just as prestige as ever.

More than noting differences, I reminisce about what it was like being a college student.  Only a few years ago, but a totally different lifestyle and mindset from where I am now!  Also, different landmarks around the campus remind me of milestones in our own relationship.

  • The same track is there, where we walked several laps before Solomon could choke out the word, “m-m-m-marriage” at a serious point in our relationship.
  • Heron Hall, the dorm where I lived my first two years, was around the corner.  In the second year, I was on the 3rd floor in an attic-style room.  I could look out a window from my bed that overlooked the parking lot that my  friend, Solomon, usually parked in.  I watched him and prayed for him.  (I’m not a creep, am I?!  I guess not since we got married after all!)
  • There is the courtyard with the anatomically-correct llama statue that was painted hot-pink at one time.  One day I walked through in between classes and thought I heard my name shouted amidst the crowd of other students.  From a fear of turning around to someone calling another person or no one calling at all and feeling foolish, I ignored it and walked on.  Later I found out that my new friend, Solomon, indeed had been calling out my name!  I’m glad he was still my friend after that!
We plan to keep this Babysit Exchange Club rolling!  We love family events and taking Little Man out.  But there’s just something special and necessary about dating in marriage!
joy:  Friends who are willing to babysit.
Sep23

Missing My Sweetheart

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I’ve come to the conclusion that my husband makes me a better person.
Yes, he makes me laugh and encourages me like no one else can.
Yes, I admire him and feel challenged to strive for excellence when I think about him.
But that’s not what I’m talking about right now.

The thing is, he’s away on business as I write,
and I feel like I’ve become a
gluttonous,
lazy,
pitiful,
slob.

Yesterday, my son and I came home from preschool around 3:00 in the afternoon.  Although my husband wouldn’t normally be home for another 4 and a half hours, I already felt like it was time to sulk.
So I had a mug full of chocolate, oreo frozen yogurt.
And then another one.
I didn’t unpack our bags, and I didn’t put them away.

Luckily I timed our evening activities out just right so that we weren’t too quiet and weren’t too still to realize how much we missed him!
Walk, bath time, dinner, clean-up, watch season premiers of The Middle and Modern Family, bedtime for Little Man, stay up later watching shows I’d never watch otherwise.  And since I couldn’t rationalize having a 3rd cup of froyo, I raided my secret stash of peanut M&M’s.
But we still missed him.

I’m also realizing that when my sweetheart is gone, I eat like a teenage boy
(or myself as a teenager).
I ate the leftovers from last night, and the night before, then I picked up fast-food for lunch today
(which I only do on special occasions).
And I know that I’ll be raiding the frozen yogurt again tonight.

The house is a wreck.  Well, that’s not unusual.  But I normally like to have it (mostly) picked up before I go to bed.
Who cares!

What has happened to me?
Normally, I’m reminding my husband to pick up his stuff
(or giving him a prosecuting, but loving of course, glare).
I just don’t feel like being responsible!

Sweetheart, come home soon!
I’m losing my type-A edge!
I need you!

joy:  When we’re apart, even if it’s only a couple days, I’m especially reminded of the reasons that I love him!

Sep22

The (waiting, waiting) Waiting Room

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I have never put so much time into sitting and waiting until being a mommy.
Actually, it began when I was pregnant.
The prenatal visits took f-o-r-e-v-e-r.
Even when the visit just consisted of
weigh in,
pee,
heartbeat,
“Looks good! Any questions?”

I actually looked forward to each prenatal check-up.  I felt like it could be another chance to get to know my little unborn baby a little better!
Even just to hear his heartbeat.
But the waiting…..WOW!

Sign in.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait……
Name called!
Sit in the other waiting area.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait……
Name called!
Go to the exam room.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait…….
The doctor comes in for a quick exam, then I’m out of there!

But now, that seems like a vacation compared to sitting in a waiting room with a toddler!
Between Little Man’s routine wellness check-ups, pediatric ophthalmology check-ups, surgical check-ups, the 3 surgeries that he’s already had, and sick-day walk-ins, we are very familiar with waiting rooms!
And it seems like the older he gets, the more futile it is, trying to keep him entertained and happy!

But I’m a “why” kind of person (perhaps like a toddler myself).
Why are we waiting?
Usually we wait the longest when we have an afternoon appointment.
Between unexpectedly long check-ups, late patients, late doctors, and many unknowns, their schedules probably get backed up.

Personally, I really appreciate it when doctors take the time to
really listen,
make eye contact,
go into detail to explain things to me,
and help me to really understand,
even if it might back-up their schedule a little.

Realizing that, I also hope that they give other patients the same attention, too.
And that helps me to be a little more patient.
(Pun not intended!)

This morning, Little Man had a [scheduled] walk-in appointment for a little condition that isn’t worth mentioning.
9am.  It was a first-thing-in-the-morning appointment.
And I was running late!
Oh no!  I was that person.  Hopefully I wouldn’t cause the whole day to be terribly backed up.
Actually,  we arrived at 9:03.
And we were called at 9:04.
Soon we saw the doctor.
He was very helpful.
And we left.

What?  No waiting!  Now I’m just confused!

joy:  Each time I wait, wait, wait, I’m growing in patience!

Sep20

Regrets

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Maybe I should’ve……
I shouldn’t have said…….
What if I didn’t……
I should have gone…….
Things would’ve been better if I just…….

Regrets.

They keep me up at night.
They make me doubt my present decisions.
They have me reevaluating and overanalyzing.
They make me unsatisfied and ungrateful.

Regrets.

When focused on the changes I would make if I could go back in time, I’m crippled, paralyzed, and sad.  I’m not even talking about big things.  It’s ridiculous how I can magnify any small action and imagine how it developed into a negative impact on myself and others.  Time isn’t even a factor.  I can go back years in my mind and agonize over something I said that was probably forgotten by others.  And then I rationalize this disgusting thing by telling myself that I’ll learn from that mistake and do better next time.  But the truth is: this cycle of regrets is self-destructive.

How can I release this ugly monster?
How can I fully enjoy the perfectly imperfect present?

All I know is that when the eyes of my heart are focused on Jesus, those regrets aren’t important anymore.
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Matthew 11:28

When I consider the cross, my remorse over trivial things is put in perspective.
How much more, then, will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself unblemished to God, cleanse our consciences from acts that lead to death, so that we may serve the living God!  Hebrews 9:14.

When I realize that He cares for me, and He created me with great plans in mind, I know that I can trust Him.
The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love. Psalm 145:8.

When I believe that God’s sovereignty is greater than my petty regrets, I can’t be troubled with the “should’ve, could’ve, would’ve”‘s.

He is the great “I AM”.

If regrets are crippling you, can you stop,
and remember that He loves you?
He knows you.
He died for you.
And He is living and moving in your life now!
He has great plans for you,
plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)

Open the eyes of our hearts, Lord.

joy: God is greater than my fears!

Sep19

Lessons Learned from the Golf Cart

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This weekend we were in Crossville with my family and for the first time ever, I tagged along with Solomon while he played golf.  I feel like I’ve been around golf all my life; my Dad has played as far back as I can remember.  And my sweet husband picked up the game about a year or two ago.  (I’m so proud of him!)  But I’ve never actually witnessed a real, live game.

My Dad was already in a tournament this weekend (which he WON!).  Solomon was still hoping to play, so it turned out to be the perfect opportunity for me to tag along.  (Thanks, Mom, for babysitting!)  It was a much needed time for the two of us, and fun for me to experience what’s really going on out there.

Since this was my 1st time on the golf course, I made a list of some of the things that I learned.

  1. The smaller the # on the club, the further it hits.
  2. There’s a lot more to golf than just whacking the ball (wind, hills, curves of the course, and I’m sure much more than I’m aware of).
  3. Inexpensive tracking devises for golf balls would be very useful.  Any inventor friends out there?
  4. If you’re going to say “Great Hit!“, you should really be paying attention.
  5. My husband really does have an app for everything!
  6. It’s okay to eat a candy bar at 9:30am when you’re on the golf course.
  7. At the 18th hole, players take off their hats and shake hands after every game.
  8. I like to drive golf carts.
  9. Solomon will let me drive the golf cart under one condition: Pedal to the Metal!
  10. If I don’t put the pedal to the metal, He Will!joy: The time spent with my Sweetheart felt like the times when we just began dating!
Sep14

When I Can’t Keep Up with the Messiness!

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Wouldn’t you know, I just wrote about cleaning floors and then I wrote about finding joy in everything, and now our puppy is getting big enough to really…….leave a mark on things!

The combination of curiosity and big paws in our pup is resulting in a torn up yard and a dirty house.  Even though I clean him off as he comes back in, dirt manages to stay wedged between the pads of his paws long enough to be deposited all around our house!

The rate at which Little Man rearranges our stuff and our puppy, Duke, tracks dirt in, is greater than the rate at which I can pick up the house and clean it!

Rate of messying(LM + D) > Cleaning(Me)!
(By the way, I really like algebra!  Sometimes I put my thoughts into algebraic equations!)

There’s a difference between having clutter spread around the house and having it actually be dirty.  I’ve got both going on!

I’m just being honest, I’m having a hard time finding the joy in this new trend.  I mean, do you know how annoying it is to feel dirt stick to my bare feet on the kitchen floor, in the morning, when I cleaned the floors the night before?!  How is that even possible?!

If I really let myself get completely concerned with trying to catch up with these two boys and keeping the house perfectly clean all the time, I really wouldn’t have time to do anything else.

I’d prefer to live in a perfectly clean house, but it isn’t worth it to sacrifice the joy in my day.  There are greater priorities in my life than living up to that standard of a spotless house.  And many times the desire to have a spotless house is driven by pride, being more concerned with any guests’ perception of our home…….and their perception of me.  However often times, I’m relieved when I visit a friend’s house, and it isn’t spotless!

It’s not that striving to keep our home clean and orderly isn’t important.  It’s just that I absolutely cannot let it even attempt to define my self-worth.  And I can’t let the shock and annoyance at how quickly it gets dirty again- get the best of me.

Actually, one of the ways that I try to make my husband feel loved and peaceful when he comes home from work, is to have the house picked up……at least mostly picked up.  I hope that he can find refuge and retreat in our house, leaving any stress or anxiety outside.

To make that happen, usually I’m running around the house with the boy on my hip, putting things back where they belong only a couple minutes before he gets home.  Even though it’s still dirty, he sometimes says, “I see you cleaned.  It looks great!”  That makes me feel pretty good, but I’m also reminded of what’s really important.

joy:  Maybe someone else will be relieved when they visit our home and notice that it’s NOT spotless!

Sep13

Click. Shop. Help them Adopt!!!

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“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
Romans 15:13

I’m so excited that my mentor and her husband are in the process of adoption through Bethany Christian Services!
They are going to be the best parents ever!
And I really respect the fact that they’re committed to adopting debt-free!

Stacy and Rodney are so creative in finding ways to raise money for their adoption.  And I want to share one of those ways with you.

When you shop online, simply use this link for Amazon.
That’s it!
The site won’t look any different to you, but it will make a world of difference to their family.
Click.  Shop.  Help them adopt!

You can also follow their story at Kennedy Tapestry.

 

joy:  Watching God move in an amazing family!

Sep13

Is “Christian Hedonism” an Oxymoron?

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I came across the phrase “Christian hedonism” in the book Desiring God by John Piper.  It’s such an odd phrase!  I’m sure that it would make the wheels turn in the minds of anyone who is familiar with Christianity.  Honestly, it sounds like an oxymoron.

It seems that following Jesus Christ would mean denying oneself of personal pleasures.
But then wouldn’t your personal pleasures transform into the passions of Christ himself?
But then would pursuing your own passions put yourself in the center of worship?

Are the wheels turning in your head?  What do you think about the phrase “Christian hedonism”?  It helps me to look in the dictionary:

Christian |ˈkrisCHən|
(adjective) professing belief in Jesus as Christ.  Manifesting the qualities or spirit of Jesus; Christlike.
(noun) one who professes belief in Jesus as Christ.  One who lives according to the teachings of Jesus.

hedonism |ˈhēdnˌizəm|
(noun) the pursuit of pleasure; sensual self-indulgence.• the ethical theory that pleasure (in the sense of the satisfaction of desires) is the highest good and proper aim of human life.

When we consider that Christianity involves following Jesus Christ, it seems that our personal pleasures should be the LAST thing that we’re seeking.  When I think about the word, “Christianity”, I picture myself, among other people literally following Jesus, like the disciples.
He’s my Savior.
He’s my Friend.
He’s my Counselor.
And He’s the example that I follow.

Jesus lived a life on earth of service.  After the Last Supper, before He died on the cross and was resurrected, He very clearly showed His friends the attitude, the posture, that He wanted them to carry on.
Washing feet.
Within that home, he assumed the lowest position by washing their feet.  Although He is the Most High King and Son of God, even He humbled Himself to that action.  He was setting that example for me, too.  Surely I can humble myself to service, too.

When I reflect upon my decision to follow Jesus wholeheartedly, not just when I feel like it, and not even just most of the time, I really know that it’s a full-time thing.
It’s a whole-life thing.
Every day.
Every area of my life.
It’s an all or nothing thing.
Jesus gave his life for me.  And I want to give my life to Him.

want |wänt, wônt|
(verb) have a desire to possess or do (something); wish for:
(noun) a desire for something:

In the Bible, God gives many commands.
Jesus summarized them into this:
“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength’.
The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’  There is no commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:30-31

This includes giving generously.  And when I do that, the grip of greed on my heart releases.

This includes really listening to others.  And when I do that, the heavy blanket of pride that covers my mind diminishes.

It includes approaching each day with an eternal perspective, putting God first.  This releases me from the bondage of worry.

I know that when I obey God, the natural consequence is JOY!

I want to have joy.
The kind of joy that is only found in Jesus Christ.
I want Jesus Christ in my life!

If that means that I’m seeking my own pleasure, so be it.
God draws me to Himself, knowing that I can only be completely satisfied when I’m in Him!
Only when my heart is putting Him first.
Only when I’m worshipping Him.
In song.
In thought.
In action.
In everything!

The only appropriate response when coming into the holy presence of Almighty God is WORSHIP.
And God is everywhere!

When I acknowledge God’s presence,
and worship Him with all that I am,
JOY is unavoidable!

I want to worship.

It’s my desire.

It’s my pleasure.

I WILL pursue my pleasure of putting God first in my life!

joy: “God is most glorified in me when I am most satisfied in him.” -Piper

Sep12

Now I Get It

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TODAY WAS LITTLE MAN’S FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!!!

Okay, he might just be in the 1 year-old class at the preschool where I teach the 3 year-olds, but this is huge to me!
I mean, he brought his lunch to school in a Toy Story lunch box!  This is huge!

Before Little Man was born, I only taught elementary school for 3 years.
But I had plenty of parent conferences, notes, emails, and conversations-in-passing.
Now I’m the parent!
And each time I see one of his teachers, I’ve got a lot to say and a lot to ask about my little guy!

Yes, I know it was just the first day of school.  Today.
Yet I can already see that all other matters pale in comparison to my son when I come across his teachers.

Did he nap?
He can use some sign language!
What did he do?
Sometimes he says the vowels and does squats!  Cool, huh?
He likes to dance to music!

I know for a fact that all the other kids in his group are quite amazing.
But my Nolan…well, I just couldn’t be more proud!

As I remember those parent conferences where I was the teacher,
I realize that
now I get it!

joy:  Parents have a very special perspective of their kids!

Sep11

The Trouble with Brownies

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The trouble with brownies is that they’re just too good!
Chocolatey goodness!
And I know that I shouldn’t eat too many!

I’ve never attempted “from scratch”, but I don’t see how it could beat “from the box”.
So easy!
But I know that I shouldn’t eat too many!

In that glass 9×13, there are plenty of bites to choose from- chewy, fudgy, crispy, and all yummy!
Delicioso!
And I know that I shouldn’t eat too many!

I know it’s not healthy to eat too much dessert.
Lucky for me, though, I’ve discovered a few ways to make it practically calorie-free!

  • Once the brownies have been cut into, the edge might not be even. Take one miniature rectangle out at a time, making the edge even. Like cleaning the house, it’s just the responsible thing to do!
  • Calories don’t seem to exist if you can manage take it out and eat it without using any utensils, plates, or napkins. It’s like nothing ever happened!
  • Possibly, the most dangerous calorie-free strategy: it doesn’t count if no one sees!
joy: The chocolatey, delicious goodness, I like to call BROWNIES!

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