Monthly Archives: August 2011

Aug27

Beautiful Interruptions

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I love routines.
I love having a plan.
I love efficiency.

And my husband, my counter-balance, has been helping me to “take a break” and be a little more spontaneous……pretty much since the day we met!  In college, Solomon found that sometimes, the only way he could spend time with me, was to “study” with me.  Only about 30 seconds into a book, he’d say, “You need to take a break.”  You could say, we definitely balance each other!

On the first day of our honeymoon, I was ready to efficiently find out what there was to do in Lake Tahoe and make a plan for the rest of the week, so we wouldn’t miss out on anything.  That would be the logical thing to do, right?  But when I let him know my plan, he simply said, “Nah, I don’t think so.”  Trying to be a respectful, newly married wife, I just said, “Okayyyyyyy.”  And can you believe where that got us?!  Mountain biking around Lake Tahoe, a spontaneous trek to San Francisco, riding a tandem bike over the Golden Gate Bridge, running into Ikea, eating at amazing restaurants, and making adventurous memories together!  Six years later, I’m still learning to be more spontaneous!

Obviously, planning has its place.  And actually Solomon is now using his passion for helping people and his brilliant mind to help people through comprehensive economic advising with Peachtree Planning of Tennessee.  He works harder than anyone I know!  But his flare for spontaneity and fun is growing on me.

I’m enjoying the freedom I have as a SAHM, to fly by the schedule set by my son’s naps, meals, and my own interests and commitments.  Yet, it’s always flexible, depending upon priorities.  And the greatest priority that I can think of is people.  I’m learning that letting my personal agenda be replaced with the Lord’s agenda always involves people.  You can count on my planner being filled with chores, reminders, and goals for each day.  Tracking my mental “to do” list here, helps me to accomplish what I set out to do.  I love the feeling off checking tasks from my “to do” list.  But the most important goal for everyday, is to be available for people.  Even if it wasn’t planned.  Even if it interferes with the original plan.  People are the priority!

My summer morning routine involved,
Breakfast
Walk, with Little Man in the stroller and the puppy on a leash
Fill the watering can, and let the puppy take a drink while I brush his coat
Water the plants
Playpen time for Little Man
Nap/ shower
Lunch
Errands
Well, you get the point.  What can I say, I like schedules!  There was a particular week this summer that our routine was beautifully interrupted.  Each morning, two boys, their dad, and their dog, named Katie, crossed our path.  Drawn to our puppy, and accepted by Little Man, the boys adopted my boys into their hearts.  As we grew more acquainted, I learned that their mother would soon give birth to a baby girl, a little sister.  Each day that week, we’d cross paths.  I’d ask how their mom was doing, knowing she must be ready for the baby to come.  And I was delighted to hear the surprise in “big brother’s” voice, when I told him that I was praying for his mom, “You Are?!?!”

It’s so much easier to be available for people when I set my own schedule, and there aren’t added pressures.  The real challenge begins when there are expectations set by others, pressing deadlines, or enforced schedules.  Is it possible to be available for people when your free time is limited?  I believe that no matter how much time is shared between people, that the priority can be felt and sensed.

I was reminded of the importance of people and relationships upon hearing about a friend’s experience in a third world country.  She had an extended stay in a remote place, ate grubs, and had all kinds of crazy adventures.  But one of the most surprising experiences that she shared with me, was the way they honor people.  For example, if someone had a commitment, such as speaking at church, but a friend came by their home, they would stay with that friend and visit for hours, even if it meant skipping the commitment!  While I’d never want to skip out on an important commitment, I was encouraged to be more flexible with my own plans, to spend more time giving a friend my full attention!

I think it’s great to have plans and routines.  But what if each day, my planner included:
Be aware of the people around you.
Strike up a conversation and really listen.
Be physically available to help.
Be mentally available to pray.

Checking the chores off of my lists is rewarding.

But being available for people, just might be life-changing.

 

joy: Each time a friend makes me a priority and really listens.

Aug26

You Are MINE!

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I’ve worked with children for many years, but there’s just something different when I look at my child.  Just knowing that he’s MY child is unbelievable to me!  I love all children so much.  That may sound sappy, but I really do.  It’s just a passion that the Lord has put in my heart.  Some people are passionate about design, some are passionate about cooking.  Really, I hope that everyone is passionate about what they do in life.  As far back as I can remember (probably even when I was a kid myself), I’ve been passionate about letting children know that they are prized possessions and delicately designed masterpieces created by their Heavenly Father.  Of course, that message can be portrayed in a number of ways.  But the priceless, valuable time of childhood has always been of the utmost importance in my heart.

As I reflect on the awe I feel to know that one of God’s children is actually my son, my eyes well with tears.  I’m more than honored that He would entrust one of his treasures to my husband and me.

Even through my son’s mischevious bouts, his outstanding and wonderful qualities shine through in my heart more.  Even after a rough day of whining, I still consider him to be overall an exceptionally easy going guy.  And in the future, it’s inevitable that more weaknesses will be revealed just like they will be revealed more in me.  But those flaws will never define who he is in my heart.

My son is ambitious, loving, playful, silly, adventurous, ingenuitive, brave, smart, and of course, extremely handsome!  I can’t contain the pride I feel when I see him reach new accomplishments or even just lean in to give me a kiss.

I’ve seen other children do the same things.  But this one is MINE!

Can you hear the Lord saying that about you?  “This one is MINE!”  If you’re feeling down and can’t find a reason to feel confident, listen closely.  The Lord is looking at you, beaming with pride.  His eyes are welling with tears as He reflects upon the fact that you are His!  Through your flaws, through your weaknesses, your beauties and strengths shine through greater in His eyes.  Listen closely, He’s whispering to you, “You are MINE!”

I have to admit, there are people in my life who are not “mine”.  I’m guilty of letting their flaws shine through more in my eyes.  But they are God’s children, too.  Can I see them the way the Lord sees them?  I’m counting on His grace for that.  Listen closely, He’s whispering, “They are MINE!” “You are MINE!”

joy: God treasures ME even MORE than I treasure my son!  Unbelievable!

Aug24

Making Memories

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I don’t want to close my eyes

I don’t want to fall asleep

Cause I’d miss you babe

And I don’t want to miss a thing

Cause even when I dream of you

The sweetest dream will never do

I’d still miss you babe

And I don’t want to miss a thing

-Aerosmith

 

I admit, I really like that song!  And actually, it sufficiently describes how I feel about my family.  I’m not just concerned about missing something, but I don’t want to forget anything!  The time when I met Solomon in college.  The proposal and wedding.  Weekend adventures.  Seeing my sweet husband hold our son in his first days.  Witnessing his first smile.  Seeing Little Man take his first steps, pronouncing his first words, laughing hysterically with a deep-belly laugh.  The portable size of our puppy when we got him at 8 weeks old.  Little Man’s grand performances (in my opinion), dancing in the living room and playing the drums.  Roadtrips with my Solomon.  Everything, really!

Living with this ambition of finding joys in each day and moment can get overwhelming!  Almost everything feels like a milestone or event worth celebrating and remembering forever!  So I document as best as I can while keeping up with the day.  And by documenting, I mean taking pictures or videos, and daydream about what I WOULD write in a scrapbook.

I love how my mom has several photo albums of our family with normal photographs tucked into sleeves.  Digital photography has changed everything.  As convenient as it is to have the freedom to take hundreds of pictures knowing I can delete many, I actually agonize over each possibly, deletable candidate.  And as convenient as digital photography is, I miss having my pictures printed more often!

(Note to self: 1. Make a folder of pictures to print. 2. Order them at Walgreens. 3. Buy a photo album. 4. Put the pictures in the album.)

Maybe it would be okay if I actually took less pictures of each “event”, and spent more time enjoying it on the other side of the lens.  Maybe it would be okay if we printed out some pictures that were slightly imperfect, yet absolutely perfect, like in the “pre-digital” days.  And if hunting down a camera would result in my missing out on being fully present, then maybe I could just take a mental picture, and develop a habit of fully and completely enjoying those moments.

I’m such a “visual person”, so reminiscing through old pictures is one of my favorite things to do!  That gives me more motivation to capture current moments on film  memory cards.  Yet sometimes my ambition to catch it all gets in the way of simply enjoying the moment.  Personally, I need to focus less on my camera and feeling disappointed if I miss something, while continuing to take “just enough” pictures.

Perhaps taking less pictures, will actually make it easier for me to sort through files, and finally print.
Perhaps taking less pictures, will help me to be more fully present.
Perhaps taking less pictures, will make the ones that are taken to be more meaningful.
Perhaps less is more!

joy: the flood of sweet memories found in a picture

(And you should definitely check out Simply M Photography to capture some awesome photos for you!)

Aug23

Little Man the Great

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Many kids have endearing nicknames from their parents. During my pregnancy, it was simply, Baby Boy. Then seconds after Nolan was born, as he rested on my chest for the first time, a new octave in my speaking voice emerged, and a string of all names sweet and sugary bubbled out, “Honey-sugar-sweety-cookie-pumpkin-baby-bubby-sweety-pie”. A couple sugary names still pop out sometimes. But the nickname that has stuck around for our Nolan, is Little Man. Although we didn’t sit down and have a family meeting to decide on it, it really seems to fit him well!

I might be biased, but Nolan is a very handsome little boy, and he has been ever since he was born! If I had to describe him with one word, it would be “inquisitive“. Especially in a new environment, he studies every visible thing and person in sight before loosening up. As a newborn, it took a few months before we even got a smile out of him because he seemed to be examining everything so carefully and seriously. Now he’ll burst into giggles at almost any random motion, but his curiosity and inquisition remains. Between his good looks and charm (like his daddy), and his tendency to earnestly investigate, this boy just looks like a little man!

The name Nolan means “noble” or “champion”. His middle name, Michael, means “like God”. We believe that the Lord has great plans for him to be a man of strong character and stature, and we pray for wisdom with this weighty privilege of being his mom and dad. Even though he’s only 1 year old, we know that he is going to be a strong, respectful, and respectable man that will be an inspiration to many people! And that’s how we see him, even now. While we believe that he is going to be a world-changing man, we pray for our son to have a humble heart and to be a generous giver, because of his relationship with Jesus.

The life verse that we picked out before his dedication seems to describe characteristics of leadership, a path that we believe the Lord will lead him on:
“He has showed you, O man, what is good.
And what does the Lord require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.”
Micah 6:8

During our pregnancy, my husband mentioned something that I’ll never forget, “Jesus knows him and is speaking to him now.” I believe that it’s so true! Then AND now! In Matthew 11:25, Jesus rejoices in childlike faith which I believe children naturally have,
“I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, this was your good pleasure.” And as we teach Nolan about Jesus, I look forward to the day that he’ll recognize His voice and make Him Lord of his life!

Nolan is our “Little Man” because we believe in the great things the Lord has in store for him today, and for the rest of his life. Of course he’s not perfect, and neither are we! Even though his strong will and determination sometimes results in disobedience, I believe that he can use his confidence to accomplish great things for the glory of God! But he doesn’t have to wait to be a grown man to do this, he can take the advice from Paul in 1 Timothy 4:12, “Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity.”

Last spring, Nolan and I had the honor of being with my aunt during her last few days on earth, before going to Heaven. Nolan’s energy, giggles, and spunkiness brought a special joy into her heart, through the physical pain. I’m thankful that the Lord is already using him for great things now, even as a baby.

He may be little, but he’s a man at heart! And the Lord has even more great plans for him!

joy: Listening to Little Man talk so confidently- raising his eyebrows to show seriousness, nodding in agreement with himself, pointing to explain, and chuckling as he babbles on and on.

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Aug22

Back to School….In A Sense

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Last year was my first August to NOT be a part of the “back to school” festivities since I was a little one.  From Kindergarten, to grade school, to middle school, high school, college, then back to 3rd grade, I have always been either a student or a teacher.  Last August, Little Man was 3 months old, and I was in my own personal crash course, learning how to take care of my own child!  Thankful to be a SAHM, I was able to focus on him and gradually bring other things back into my life.  Yet it felt dream-like to be living through an August without gearing up for another semester!  I wrote about those emotions last year on Mama Moderne.

Now it’s “back to school” time again as a stay-at-home-mom.  Last year, I was culture-shocked to realize that I wouldn’t be in a classroom Monday- Friday.  This year, the most shocking part is that it’s not weird at all!

Many times over the last year, I was asked if I missed teaching.  Since I am incredibly thankful to be SAHM with Little Man, I never wish that I’m in another place.  Yet when I visit the school where I taught, I realize that I miss the people, children and teachers, that had become so special to me.  When a lady becomes a mommy, there will be sacrifices made.  But we can choose joy in our circumstances and be thankful!  And I have limitless reasons to be thankful!

Although I won’t be returning to teach 3rd grade anytime soon, I’m excited about a special opportunity that Little Man AND I have for the next “school year”.  Beginning in September, on Mondays and Wednesdays, I will be teaching 3 year-olds at the Rolling Hills Learning Center, where Little Man will be in the 1 year-olds class!  I’m so excited that my boy will have an outlet every week for his energy, curiosity, and social inclination!  I’m so excited for myself to be in the lives of a special group of 3 year-olds, working with a partner in creating learning experiences through exploration and play while witnessing growing friendships!

When it comes to education, I’m already in a preschool mentality, since I’m focused on a particular preschooler everyday.  So it will be really fun for me to learn more, find great ideas, and use my interest in education and child development to teach this group!

Last year didn’t turn out to be exactly what I expected, but it was absolutely perfect!  And while I have less preconceived ideas about this year, I’m looking forward to another very special and adventurous one!

joy:  Little Man and I will be in preschool together!

Aug20

K and S, Sittin’ in a Tree

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Katie & Solomon sittin’ in a tree
k-i-s-s-i-n-g
first comes love
second comes marriage
here comes Solomon with a baby carriage!

I know you’ve heard this rhyme. Someone might have blurted it out in grade school when a boy and girl became “more than friends”. It’s supposed to embarrass the “convicts”, but it’s actually a pretty exciting thing!

When Solomon and I got married, we both joyfully agreed that it would be a priority for me to be a stay-at-home-mom. (And I’m SO thankful that I’m able to be just that!) The first few years of our marriage, we made a lot of great memories, but I also put much thought-energy into our “future children”. I was (and continue to be) deeply in love with my amazing husband! I was also infatuated with the idea of being a “mommy” and “daddy” together!

Before too long, I realized that I had allowed the thoughts about our “future children” to become an idol in my heart. And it wasn’t until I changed that, that we were both completely ready to enter parenthood.

In May 2010, our little family of 2 became a little family of 3! Little Man continues to blow our minds and melt our hearts daily! Yet I’ve found that being a “mom and dad” team, as well as a “husband and wife” team, takes even more focus and cognition to make it a success than I expected!

What a huge responsibility it is to bring a newborn baby home, finding it hard to believe that we are the parents! We’re the ones responsible for his health, safety, well-being, and any decision that has to do with him. Whoa! That’s a lot of pressure, especially for a new mom who’s obsessed with child-development and wellness! As a SAHM, I get to be involved in many different activities and relationships. Yet no matter what I’m doing, Little Man’s well-being is always a priority, as I internally keep track of his eating, sleeping, cleanliness, health, behavior, etc. So I can’t promise that I’m always giving 100% of my attention to the people that I’m interacting with. Including my loving husband. So we’re learning, communication might look different as parents. Actually, it definitely looks different as parents!

Now that we’ve got that down, how do we remedy the casualties of this change? We want to understand each other. We want to know each other deeply. We want our relationship to be the way it used to be. But we would never change the fact that we’re parents together now.

If you’re expecting me to have answers at this point, I apologize. It seems that we’re on a journey that will never slow down and never20110822-104836.jpg stop changing. I can never expect to have all the answers on this journey, although I’d like to. But it sure is a good thing that I know the One who does have all the answers, I just need to trust Him!

Little Man is 15 months-old now. So I’m finally grasping some facts of life that will allow me to put more focus back into my marriage. Yes, this is actually our son. Yes, we will make mistakes. Yes, it will be okay. Now, it’s time to let my incredible husband, who is Wild At Heart, continue pursuing me! And as we put Jesus first- this marriage, this family, this journey will just get better and better!

[Could motherhood actually make you a better wife? Check out Afterbelly for a sweet encouragement and prayer for mamas who want to love and respect their husbands well!]

joy: We’re on a journey that will never slow down and never stop changing!


Aug18

Growing Up, Letting Go

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As a child, I liked to do it myself. On an elevator, I wanted to push the button. Walking in to a room, I wanted to flip the light switch on. And even if mom or dad did it, I’d say, “Hey, you said I could do it.” So they might even turn it off, just so I could feel “independent” and do it myself. How silly of me!

Really, through each phase of my life so far, I like the feeling of accomplishment in doing it myself. Well, almost everything. I’d prefer for someone else to take out the trash, plunge the toilet, and teach me how to create a blog! I guess I have “selective do-it-myself“. But I’m quite all right with opening a door myself with a stroller and bag, taking care of my new baby (last summer) with limited help, carrying in all the groceries in as few trips to the car as possible. I can do it myself! And I’m proud of that! (When actually, if I asked for help more often, it would probably bless the helper as much as myself.) My aspiration for independence in these insignificant things convicted me! Many times I forget that I cannot be independent from the Lord, as much as I might try to be. As I pull away, trying to do it “on my own”, I’m actually revealing a lack of trust. And the more that I realize how completely and utterly dependent upon the Lord I actually am, the more freely I can receive His gift of life!

At a women’s retreat this spring, our key verse was 1 Peter 2:2-3, “Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good.” The speaker encouraged us to “grow up in our salvation”. As I focused on that prompt to mature spiritually, I realized that my initial reaction would be to push harder, accomplish more, go farther. Like a weight-lifter, I can do more, put another weight on the bar. If I just grit my teeth, clench my fists, and believe in myself, I can “grow up”.

Yet that mentality doesn’t correlate with the gospel of Jesus Christ at all!
“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith- and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God…”
Ephesians 2:8

Contrary to my initial reaction to the idea of “growing up in my faith”, I believe that spiritual maturity is actually a result letting go more, a greater dependence on the Lord! Let me rephrase that, we’re all completely and utterly dependent upon Him whether we realize it or not. So perhaps, spiritual maturity correlates with an increased realization of dependence upon Him.

Instead of adding more weights to the barbell, maybe “growing up” actually means, taking the weights off. Sliding them onto the barbell of the One who said:
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
(Matthew 11:28-30)
He wants to “swap” burdens with us. He’ll take the expectations that we put on ourselves to be perfect. He’ll take the pressure to provide for our families. He’ll take the exhaustion at the end of the day. And in return, He’ll give us peace as we trust!

The only problem with becoming more dependent on the Creator is that we don’t get the credit. But did we ever actually deserve it? Instead of doing it myself and feeling proud, I can joyfully admit that I’m totally dependent upon my Maker as I boast in His grace!

joy: God is faithful!

Aug17

Writing More, More to Write About?

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It might be redundant to write about writing, but I’m going to do it anyway!

Have you ever been afraid that if you commit to writing something, you might run out of ideas?  Or have you found that the more you write, the more ideas you have?

I’d answer “yes!” to both of those questions.

In school, I enjoyed writing assignments and looked forward to seeing my teacher/professor admire it and mark it with an “A”!  But I actually received my lowest grades on writing assignments.  Maybe I tried too hard, using synonyms and metaphors to replace words that were being used too often and quirky phrasing to make it interesting, turning out to make it a confusing paper.  So I never felt motivated to write beyond what was necessary.

Then Facebook launched, which was solely for college kids while I was a college kid.  Ironically, I didn’t join during college.  I didn’t want to give it my precious time, plus what would I write anyway?  I hesitantly joined the summer we moved into our house, while I was looking for a job.  Quickly, I began thinking throughout the day, “I should mention this/that on Facebook.”

During my pregnancy, I was asked by a good friend if I would be interested in writing for a website for moms in the future.  Then I remembered how much I enjoyed topical writing in school, even though I didn’t get the grades that I’d hoped for.  So I was in! However, I was afraid, that with each article I wrote, the less material I’d have.  On the contrary, with each article I wrote, the more I realized that other experiences and thoughts could actually become articles themselves!

And last year, Solomon peer pressured me into joining Twitter.  It took me a little while, but now I “get it”.  Actually, I should probably fast from social media for a few days because I’m starting to look at each day through a “social media lens”, thinking about what I should tweet about each thing throughout the day, even if they don’t all make it to the www.

Even now, writing on my own personal blog (which I still can’t believe I’m doing), I constantly think of more ideas that I want to write about!  Yet I reluctantly began last week, thinking I’d run out of ideas.  Now I can’t stop them!  Help!  I don’t have time to write everything!

It doesn’t scientifically make sense to me.  The more thoughts that I write about, the more ideas I have….  Wouldn’t they eventually run out?!  I suppose as long as this crazy world is turning, there will be more crazy things to write about!

joy: the ability to express ourselves with words

Aug16

Happiness v. Joy

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Happiness

  • Comfortable
  • Favorable circumstances
  • Dependent upon factors outside of my control
  • Makes me confident in myself
  • Conditional
  • Temporary
  • A pleasant feeling
  • Shakeable
  • Found in myself

Joy

  • Peace in the knowledge that God is in control
  • Whether in favorable circumstances or not, I know that all things
    work together for good for those who are called according to
    His purpose & that includes me!
  • Dependent upon my attitude
  • Makes me confident in Jesus
  • Unconditional
  • Eternal
  • Uncontrollably bubbling up, overflowing from my spirit!
  • Solid
  • Found in the hope of Jesus!
joy: I like making lists!
Aug15

This Ain’t No “Mom-Haircut”

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You know what I’m talking about.  Once a lady has a baby, if she gets her hair chopped off, it’s labelled a “mom-haircut”.
As if having a child made it too inconvenient to take care of long hair.
(However I have quit blow-drying my hair this summer and ended up in french braids most of the time.)
As if having a child meant that it becomes a nuisance to have your hair used as a chew toy and belay rope.
(However my long hair was used as such.)
As if the lady felt she needed to look a little more “grown-up”.
(Well, I have been mistaken for Little Man’s older sister…)
Wait a second, maybe I did get a “mom-haircut” after all….

No, I’ll tell you the real reason why I got my hair chopped off, but you might not believe me.
I was just honoring my hair’s desires.
Seriously, my hair really doesn’t want to be long!
After receiving a less than favorable response from a certain, gray-crowned gentleman, upon seeing my hair cut above my shoulders, I haven’t had it cut (besides routine trims) in 7-8 years!  Most gals could audition for the part of Rapunzel after that amount of time.  Alas, my hair only dropped a couple inches past my shoulder.  You see, my hair just doesn’t want to be long!  So with affirmation from a certain gentleman, I decided to try a haircut that would be more tailored to my own hair’s needs and desires.  And I suppose the “mom-haircut” reasons listed above helped.

But still,

This ain’t no “mom-haircut”!

joy:  I love my new ‘do!  And I recommend checking out Audrey at the Yellow House Salon!